


Clouded Love

by HiddenInTheWorld



Series: Clouded Love [1]
Category: IM5 (Band), fly away hero
Genre: IM5 - Freeform, M/M, Underage Sex, colton, fly away hero - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-01-06 22:58:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1112505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiddenInTheWorld/pseuds/HiddenInTheWorld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How he could just rip off Cole trunks so easily and make him so compliant, so in his control underneath him. Dalton’s mind wandered and imagined what Cole would sound like moaning underneath him, making Cole fill the air with Dalton’s name. </p><p>Dalton snapped out of his trance and was scared by his own thoughts. They had seemed to come from the back of his mind, hidden away under many jokes and stolen glances. He wasn’t supposed to think of Cole like that…Cole was his friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, this started out as an imagine then it spiraled into a full story, which I actually plan on making a second part too, if you guys would like.
> 
> Disclaimer: None of these events are real, they are pure fiction and therefore have never happened.  
> In this story, Dalton does not have a girlfriend, and I fully support his current girlfriend, they're awesome together. However, for story purposes ONLY, Dalton is single. 
> 
> If your name is Dalton, Cole, Gabe, Will jay Behlendorf, Dana, or are closely associated with IM5, don't read this. Just run. Run far away and never come back to this page ever. Now for the rest of you, read it to your heart's desire as much as you'd like.

All of the boys were over at Dalton’s house swimming and just hanging out on a Saturday afternoon. Dalton was changing into his swim trunks in the second story bathroom while everyone else was still downstairs. He looked out of the bathroom window and saw Cole laughing with Will happily.

Dalton's eyes trailed down almost instinctively, without thinking, to the waistband of Cole's swim trunks that hung loosely on his hips. He stared at the v line that disappeared into Cole’s shorts, it almost teased Dalton, calling out to him. Dalton parted his mouth slightly and bit his lip slowly, letting the image of Cole shirtless soak into his memory. Dalton found himself thinking about what he would do to Cole if given the chance. How he could just rip off Cole trunks _so easily_ and make him so _compliant_ , so in _his control_ underneath him. Dalton’s mind wandered and imagined what Cole would sound like moaning underneath him, making Cole fill the air with Dalton’s name.

Dalton snapped out of his trance and was scared by his own thoughts. They had seemed to come from the back of his mind, hidden away under many jokes and stolen glances. He wasn’t supposed to think of Cole like that…Cole was his _friend_. Dalton stood wide-eyed and confused, attempting to process what he had just imagined. Why was he thinking those things? That wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. Yet he still had those thoughts of kissing Cole and waking up next to him in bed on Sunday mornings shirtless.

Dalton shook his head, trying his best to push those thoughts far out of his mind. He can’t be thinking those things, Cole has a girlfriend. Dalton had always liked girls, and he didn’t have these thoughts about any other guy, so why was it every time he saw Cole his smile grew wider and his heart picked up speed?

Dalton glanced out of the window one last time and bit his lip before heading out of the bathroom.

Dalton trotted down the stairs and once he got to the bottom, he caught himself checking his appearance, going over every detail of his body, fixing himself. He stopped suddenly though, there was no girls here, or his parents, only him and the guys. Why was he so concerned with how he looked?

He just tried to shrug it off and continued to walk outside to the pool.

Gabe was lying down on a lawn chair, _sleeping_? Dalton couldn’t really tell until Gabe turned on his side, revealing he was just being lazy. Dana was sitting at the table browsing through Instagram on his phone while Will and Cole were still talking to each other.

Dalton walked over to the pool and was about to jump in when he heard a teasing “Hey Dalton?” from behind him He turned around and was met with Cole tackling him into the pool, with his arms around him making their bodies collide sending Dalton crashing into the pool.

The second Cole touched him, everything seemed to slow down. Dalton felt as if he could burst at any moment, as if when Cole’s skin met his Dalton’s brain froze. His thoughts became clouded and blurred as they tumbled into the water. Cole let go of Dalton as they plunged into the pool and floated apart underwater.

Dalton didn’t know what, but some urge deep inside of him took control. Everything moved slowly as this urge had Dalton reaching out and grabbing Cole’s hips, bringing him closer, connecting them at the pelvis, having Dalton rubbing up against Cole.

Cole didn’t know why Dalton did that, or why he had let him. All Cole knew was that that. Felt. _Fucking. Amazing._

To have Dalton moving against him like that was the greatest feeling Cole had ever experienced, it sent vibrations running throughout his entire body. It made Cole’s brain fuzzy in the best way possible, and it filled his chest with passionate energy.

Cole grabbed Dalton’s bum, in attempt to push them together, to have that feeling surging through his bones again. The moment was so short and quick, yet so sweet. It was over _way_ too soon for Cole and it left him craving more. They both surfaced, still holding onto each other.

Cole half moaned half sighed quietly and started into Dalton’s eyes. Dalton looked up to meet his glance and saw shock mixed with confusion in Cole’s eyes. His glance bored into Dalton, confusing him even more. Dalton let go of Cole’s hips but Cole kept his hands on Dalton, not wanting to let go.

Dalton wanted to get away, he couldn’t handle the intensity that filled Cole’s stare. He managed wriggle out of Cole’s grasp quickly and swam away. He had no idea why he had just did that, but it almost didn’t matter. That felt so good, unlike anything Dalton had ever felt before, and it drove him crazy.

Everything seemed to fit together as Dalton thought more, as if that one motion had set everything together, made it all make sense. The way Dalton had looked at Cole through the window earlier, the way he was fixing himself before Cole could see him, every joke about Colton he had ever made, it was all because he liked Cole. Dalton couldn’t handle that, it was all so confusing and it came down on him like a wall. He knew Cole didn’t think of him like that, after all, Cole was in a relationship.

More importantly, what had _Cole_ thought about what Dalton just did? Had Dalton ruined their entire friendship? He didn’t want it to be this way, he didn’t want to admit to his feelings for Cole, not yet, he wasn’t ready for this.

Cole floated there for a second, still on a high from Dalton’s hips. Cole couldn’t believe how Dalton had just made him completely helpless. How Dalton had left him there, nearly paralyzed from his movements. It left him craving more, craving those strong hips moving up against him again. Cole couldn't process all of his feelings right now, it was all a hazy blur in his mind. He quickly tried to come to his senses though, and got out of the pool, going inside to get food.

 

The rest of the time everybody was normal, well, almost everybody. Cole and Dalton avoided each other in subtle ways, both afraid the topic would come up again. The rest of the boys didn’t seem to notice though, and if they did, they didn’t say anything about it. Also, none of them seemed to catch on to what it meant when Dalton was caught stealing glances at Cole but then quickly looking away when they would acknowledge him.

When the rest of the boys were all ready to head home, Dalton said bye to each of them and they went out the door, hopping in their cars and speeding away. Cole however, hadn’t left though, he was still in the house with Dalton, lingering.

Cole asked Dalton casually, “Hey, can I take a shower here?”

Shit. Dalton wanted to keep avoiding Cole. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to control himself, that he would act out again and ruin everything. At the same time, Dalton didn’t want to make it obvious that he was not talking to him.

Not wanting to come off strange, Dalton replied with “Yeah, sure”

“Thanks” Cole nodded, heading up the stairs to the bathroom

Cole got to the bathroom and turned on the shower, making water spay all over the place. Cole took his trunks off and took a shower before hopping out and drying off. Cole found his dry clothes from earlier and slipped them on quickly, then headed out of the bathroom.

Dalton had been downstairs watching TV when he decided to go get his phone from his room and check twitter. He sprang up from the couch and started to head towards his room, going up the stairs and into the hallway.

Dalton didn’t see Cole come out of the bathroom quick enough and on his way to his room crashed into Cole. This made Dalton trip over his own feet, sending Cole crashing to the ground with Dalton on top of him. Dalton’s hands shot out as a reflex and he caught himself, with two arms by Cole’s head, merely inches away from his face. Cole was taken back at first, and didn’t know how to react. However, the feeling of Dalton’s weight resting on top of him felt remarkable. It felt so natural yet at the same time so new, so unexpected.

Cole tensed up under Dalton, afraid Dalton would back off of him and they would go their separate ways. He didn’t want him to, he wanted to pull Dalton closer, to feel that amazing friction again. But Dalton wasn’t moving _either_ , he _wasn’t_ backing off. Dalton’s eyes fell on Cole’s lips, and Dalton knew that he couldn’t control himself anymore.

He was tired of holding back, tired of sitting idly by thinking of Cole. All of those thoughts, those misguided emotions, all came forward as Dalton laid there, on top of Cole, and they were both completely silent and motionless. Afraid that if either one moved, they would be snapped back to reality, and be forced to move off of each other, never knowing how they could’ve had such an impact on each other. Never figuring out just what their feelings were for each other until it was too late.

All of those pent up emotions, those urges hidden deep down inside of Dalton, finally got him to move. He rested on top of Cole, parting his legs so that Cole’s legs were in-between them and his full weight was rested on top of Cole.

Cole took a nervous breath and spoke softly, “Dalton?” Dalton’s eyes were taken off of Cole’s lips and trailed up to look in his eyes cautiously “About earlier….”

Cole stopped and he saw Dalton’s eyes show realization and his cheeks begin to heat up, as Dalton tried to avoid Cole’s gaze, looking everywhere where Cole’s eyes weren’t. He realized that Dalton thought he had messed up, that Dalton thought Cole was bothered by it. Cole relaxed and smiled softly at Dalton’s shyness. Cole extended his hand and wrapped it around Dalton’s jawline, angling his head back to meet Cole’s eyes.

Cole’s hand was so warm against Dalton’s skin, it calmed him down and let him know that Cole was right where he was, that he felt the same. “Hey,” Cole murmured, grabbing Dalton’s attention “Don’t worry about it” his voice husky and reassuring to Dalton

All of Dalton’s thoughts clicked at once, realizing that Cole didn’t hate him for that. He didn’t want to push Dalton away, isolate him forever. Was it possible that Cole maybe even _liked_ it? Dalton followed his instincts, running his hand up the side of Cole’s head, lacing his fingers through Cole’s chestnut hair. Dalton came down closer to Cole, so that their faces were now only mere centimeters apart.

“I’m glad you did that” Cole blurted out, not even thinking of what his words meant at the time

Cole slid his hand down to Dalton’s neck and connected them forcefully, eliminating any space that was left in-between both boys. As Cole connected their lips it shattered the tension in the air like glass, like a barrier was being broken.

It ignited a flame inside Dalton, a flame of pure _passionate, raw,_ energy that burned more intensely with every second that Cole kissed him. The longer Cole kissed him, the bigger the flame inside Dalton grew, finally reaching a point where it seemed to explode inside Dalton, scattering warm energy through his entire body. Cole darted his tongue out, signaling for Dalton to open his mouth. They explored each other’s mouths never wanting to stop this moment when Cole moaned softly against Dalton’s mouth.

As soon as Cole did this, Dalton knew that he liked him back with the same passionate energy that Dalton was feeling and everything seemed right - even though it was all painfully wrong. Dalton let go of Cole’s head, and wrapped his arms around Cole’s back, bringing both of them into a sitting up position, but never disconnecting their lips.

Dalton stood up first, and brought Cole up with him, his arms remaining around his back. Dalton pulled away from Cole and Cole looked into his eyes, confused on why he had stopped.

“Why did you stop?” Cole asked breathless, slightly worried that Dalton was going to protest that he had kissed him

Dalton simply smirked at Cole “Jump”

“Huh?” Cole asked, not sure of what Dalton wanted him to do

“ _Jump_ ” Dalton restated, still smirking cunningly

Cole jumped into Dalton’s arms, his legs curling around Dalton’s waist and his arms flying up twirling around Dalton’s neck.

Dalton held Cole up by his thighs, steadying them both. Cole brought Dalton’s face to his, kissing him again, but this time the kiss was way more demanding, and way more heated than the first. Dalton knew what was happening, but he didn’t want to stop it and he couldn’t tell if Cole was making any sense of what was happening between them.

Dalton began to walk towards his room, still holding and kissing Cole, letting his pure memory of the hallway guide him. Dalton found his bedroom door and pushed Cole’s back against it, letting it swing open. Dalton flopped on top of his bed, Cole still underneath him.

Their breaths were already worked up and restless, and Dalton looked down at Cole, straight into his eyes.

“Cole?” Dalton uttered, his voice so soft and unsure, almost as if he was afraid to talk to Cole

“Yes?” Cole replied, still not even sure if any of this was real

“Earlier….” Dalton started, still cautious and scared of what reaction Cole might have, “did you…d-did you li-“

Cole knew what Dalton was going to say, and he cut him off quickly in anticipation “Yes.”

“Yes. A million times yes, _god_ yes” Cole replied quickly, exaggerating the god and biting his lip

With this confirmation, Dalton began to roll his hips against Cole’s, making Cole completely _lose_ it. Cole’s eyes fluttered open and shut, his mouth opening in a silent moan. His hands fell on Dalton’s hips to steady himself, almost afraid he would begin to fall apart. This time Dalton’s thrusts were firmer, and the friction that resulted was unlike anything Cole had ever felt in his life. Dalton was so intoxicating, so easy to get lost in, his hips made every thought in Cole’s mind go away. All except one.

_How fucking amazing Dalton felt on top of him._

Cole wasn’t thinking of how wrong this was, how they shouldn’t be doing this. At any rate, even if Cole were thinking that, he wouldn’t stop. It felt _way_ too good to stop now. Dalton had managed to turn Cole’s mind into a haze of pure, passionate, electrical energy with the movement of his hips.

“Dalton” Cole moaned, breathlessly, running his hands up Dalton’s back, tugging at the fabric of his shirt before trailing back down to curl his fingers around Dalton’s hips “Oh my _god Dalton_ ”

“Dalton that f-feels-a” Cole moaned and arched his back, throwing his head against the pillow

Cole raised his arm and flipped Dalton over so that he was now on top of him. Cole came down so that he was by Dalton’s neck and Dalton could feel his ragged breath next to him.

Dalton couldn’t help himself, he missed that friction and he began to rock up against Cole steadily, throwing Cole off. Cole put his elbows on either side of Dalton’s head and Dalton could hear Cole ragged hot breaths against his ear.

“Oh shit” Cole moaned against Dalton’s ear as Dalton rolled against Cole, almost as if all of this was normal, as if they had done this before.

Cole regained his set of mind and began to suck on Dalton’s neck, marking his skin. That one motion turned Dalton’s legs to water, made him go limp under Cole. Dalton threw his head against the pillow, rolling his eyes back and letting his mouth hang open. Cole was _sucking_ on his neck and it made Dalton go insane in the best way imaginable.

“Cole” Dalton cried, franticly, he was out of breath and his mind could barely even make sense of what was going on, all of his attention focused on Cole’s lips against his neck

His hands gripped the bed sheets underneath him even tighter when Cole began to roll back against Dalton, creating an intense and overbearing mixture. The friction Cole created overpowered Dalton, the intensity of it all causing him to fill the air with fiery moans.

Dalton had no idea that Cole could do this to him. Before this, he had no idea that he could be this powerless to Cole. Cole had taken complete control of Dalton, made him moan his name and his breathing patterns to become worked up and ragged in a fit of passion.

Cole stopped sucking on Dalton’s neck and trailed to his lips, kissing his jawline on the way. Cole took Dalton’s free hand in his intertwining their fingers, letting him know that he was right there with him, and kissed Dalton fiercely, bringing his other hand up to run his fingers through Dalton’s hair.

Cole rolled his hips against Dalton’s one last time and Dalton broke the kiss to call out frantically, his muscles all tightening blissfully then releasing in a sudden manner leaving Dalton in a dream-like state. Cole soon followed after, and with a final cry of Dalton’s name, he fell off of Dalton, landing next to him on the bed.

They both tried desperately to catch their breath with little to no success.

Cole looked over at Dalton and squeezed his hand causing Dalton to look back at him.

“Dalton?” Cole asked, but more sure of himself this time, more confident

“Yeah?” Dalton sighed, still trying to catch his breath

“That was….” Cole trailed off, Dalton already knew what he was going to say

“Yeah” Dalton said, a faint smile breaking out on his face and he squeezed Cole’s hand tighter

Cole scooted closer to Dalton so that his head was buried in the crook of Dalton’s neck. Dalton felt as if this was all unreal, like it was a dream even though it had just happened before him. It seemed as if Dalton could just melt into the bed right now, his mind in a blissful haze.

However, soon Cole’s mind began to work properly again. He knew they couldn’t stay like this forever, they would have to go their separate ways. But what would happen after that?

What would he tell Cassidy? _Would_ he tell Cassidy? What about Dalton, would he tell everyone?

Cole didn’t want to hurt Dalton, but they couldn’t do this forever. Cole loved Cassidy, in a way at least, but now he couldn’t deny that he had feelings for Dalton. He knew now, more than ever, that he had feelings for Dalton and they were so strong now, those feelings bored a hole though Cole’s chest.

Cole began to get worried and tense, but Dalton snaked his arms around Cole’s waist, bringing him closer, making Cole’s bad thoughts dissipate. Dalton was so warm and so comforting against Cole, it felt so natural to both boys. Dalton found Cole’s hand again and locked their fingers tightly. Cole decided not to worry about everything now, he could do that tomorrow, for now he just wanted to lay there with Dalton, forgetting about everything else in the world.


	2. This Bed Seems A Tad Too Big

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dalton woke up to find the covers draped over him and the sun streaming on through his window, blinding his face as normal. But something didn’t feel right, his chest felt light and hollow, and suddenly his bed felt too big.

Cole vaguely remembered leaving that morning.

He was sleepy and his thoughts were clouded when he woke up clutching Dalton. Or maybe that’s just what he wanted himself to believe, so that he could reason his leaving.

What hurt the most was just how Dalton…looked. Peaceful, and beautiful, and gorgeous in every aspect. As Cole stood there, above his bed, holding what he had of his possessions in his hands, he felt as if there was a pit in his stomach. A dark, nasty, guilt ridden pit that made his knees wobbly. Dalton didn’t even know he was leaving.

How it ached Cole to think how he’ll feel when he wakes up…. It almost made him stay.

Almost.

~~~

Dalton woke up to find the covers draped over him and the sun streaming on through his window, blinding his face as normal. But something didn’t feel right, his chest felt light and hollow, and suddenly his bed felt too big.

That’s when it hit him.

Cole.

That’s what was missing.

Cole had left. Cole had gotten up before Dalton and _left_.

He couldn’t believe it. He wouldn’t expect Cole to just leave him here, after _all of that_ , after what they _did_.

It was almost surreal, he didn’t want to believe that it was true, he couldn’t handle that sort of heartbreak, especially from Cole.

It was in that moment that Dalton realized he didn’t _like_ Cole, oh no. He was painstakingly, head over heels, miserably in love with him.

The emptiness in his chest, that gaping hole that Cole had left there confirmed that this wasn’t a little crush.

This was so much more.

This was Dalton longing for Cole, this was Dalton craving Cole’s lips against his again.

Dalton was in love with Cole.

And he hated it. He hated the way Cole could one second have Dalton over a cloud, then the next leave him sitting here on his bed, shattered and alone. It wasn’t fair.

Dalton brought his knees to his chest and rested his head on them. He shut his eyes tight, and tears began to collect behind his clenched eyelids as he started to rock back and forth slightly. He was trying his hardest to wake up. As if this was all a nightmare and Cole was actually still lying beside him, clutching his hand tight. But it didn’t work. This was all very much real. This was as real as Cole’s touches that sent fire climbing up in Dalton’s chest, as real as his sweet lips that felt so wrong yet so right pressed up against his, and as real as his strong and steady hips that fit Dalton like a puzzle piece, unlocking emotions inside Dalton he didn’t know he had. This was as real as what they had done yesterday, and as real as Dalton’s bitter love that burned inside of him, setting everything on fire, Cole’s absence trashing his emotions, as if Cole had thrown them into a bonfire, never to be spoken of again.

~~~

Dalton had been milling around all day, stuck in a broken state, not wanting to look at his phone or go outside afraid that something else bad would happen to him, and make him completely breakdown, although it didn’t seem like it would take much at this point.

Dalton ate lunch quietly, thankful his parents didn’t notice that something was off with him.

He went back into his room, flopping on the bed bringing back memories of Cole and almost out of nowhere his throat clenched up and his eyes became watery, but he quickly regained himself, trying his hardest not to cry. His thoughts were interrupted by his phone pinging on his bedside table.

Dalton decided to answer the message and sat up, grabbing his phone. He would have to interact with the world at some point right?

He unlocked his phone and saw he had gotten a text from Will

_Hey, we’re throwing this party for Alex, it’s his birthday in a week, you guys wanna come?_

Dalton hesitated to respond at first. Judging from the you guys, Will was talking about the other guys as well. That meant Cole. He wanted to see him again, but he also knew he wouldn’t be able to handle the tension that would form in the air between them and he would just end up doing something stupid. Not that complexly fucking things over would be anything new.

But he missed Cole, he missed hearing his laugh and his smile even though it’d barely been a day.

Dalton finally made a decision. One he knew he’d regret, but he just had to see Cole again.

_Yeah sure, I’ll come_

_YAY!!!! PARTY TIME!_

Dalton chuckled at Will’s giddy response then continued to type on his screen

_Forgetting something?_

_No….what?_

_What times the party, goofball?_

_Oh yeah, that. 8_

_Ok bye, I’ll see you later_

Dalton put his phone down and slowly got up from his bed to take a shower.

He strolled down the hallway and stopped right outside of the bathroom door and glanced down at the carpet. All of the memories came flooding back through Dalton’s mind, the way Cole had kissed him, and the way he had thought for sure that Cole had felt the same way for him, but evident from his absence, he didn’t.

Dalton’s eyes watered up again for the, what was it, third time today? He shook his head as if doing that would scatter the bittersweet memories away from looking down at that patch of carpet.

He opened the bathroom door and stepped inside. He stripped of his clothes and took a shower. As he stood there, the warm water streaming down his back he looked down at his feet. Maybe Cole was right to leave, after all, how could anyone genuinely like this? I’m nothing special, I’m not gorgeous like Cole, not even close.

_Yes, that was it. Cole had left because of me, because I’m not good enough for him._

_He doesn’t like me._

_Not like that. No. NO._

_No one could **ever** like me like that. I was stupid to think even for a second, that Cole felt the same way. He was just blowing off steam, I bet he thinks it didn’t even mean anything. But it meant so much to me. To think that I thought Cole might actually have feelings for me. God, I’m an idiot._

Dalton’s chest rose as he took a sigh, accepting his situation as best he could, trying to cope.

His mind went into a haze, just a mantra of thoughts of never being good enough playing through his mind, the ghost of Cole’s lips still lingering on his.

He meanderingly went through the motions of how he normally showered, just staring blankly ahead and thinking of Cole. A lump got stuck inside of Dalton’s throat, and he swallowed it, trying to push down his feelings to where they couldn’t bother him.

He finished showering and stepped out, making the tile beneath his feet slippery. He walked over to his mirror and stared at his reflection. Droplets of water dripped from his wet blond hair onto the floor and his face was stained with water droplets. He went over every feature of his face, examining every detail that lied in his skin.

He didn’t like what he saw.

For the first time in a long time, Dalton didn’t like what his reflection showed in the mirror. Almost hated it, in fact. What he saw looking back at him he barely recognized. He felt as if he was someone on the outside looking in at himself, seeing every single little flaw that marked his water stained face. Once again, Dalton thought How could anyone see anything good in me? No wonder Cole left.

That one thought was stuck in Dalton’s mind, the idea that he wasn’t good enough for Cole, that he hadn’t given him enough. But Dalton couldn’t be more wrong, it was the exact opposite.

Cole had left because the intensity of Dalton was too much for him. He couldn’t handle Dalton’s intoxicating lips that seemed to control his actions. Dalton’s lips were like a poison to Cole, one that made his mind cloudy and his knees weak. And it scared him.

Oh, but they were such a sweet poison though, they felt so amazing that Cole craved them helplessly. Cole had never quite fallen like this before, and it scared him to death.

Dalton had no idea just how much he had affected Cole. Dalton had it stuck in his mind that he wasn’t good enough for Cole, that he needed to be better for him.

Both were hopelessly in love with each other, but were too scared to act on it, for different reasons each. Dalton was afraid Cole wouldn’t return the feelings as strongly. Cole was scared of just how much Dalton had affected him, he was scared of how hard he had fallen.

Even though it was just one night, both had completely been left over the edge, fallen for the other without any control. They couldn’t stop it, couldn’t ignore it, those feelings were just too strong to ignore yet at the same time, they were scared to confront them.

~~~

As Dalton walked up to Will’s front door, he could hear music blaring from inside and lots of mixed voices. Dalton pushed on the door and found it was unlocked, so he stepped inside. He was immediately engulfed in loud music and people crammed into one space. Alex sure had a lot of friends. The music was way too loud and there were way too many people shuffling around, drinks filled with who knows what in their hands. The atmosphere felt heated and damp, and though it looked like lots of people were enjoying themselves, it all seemed disgusting to Dalton.

Dalton walked over to the kitchen, and on his way was greeted by Will. Right when he saw him he smiled and began to walk over, although Dalton could tell that Will’s steps were uneven and that he was more than likely tipsy.

“Hey Dalton, glad you came” Will’s words were slightly slurred and he had to speak loudly over the music

“Yeah, I’m not” Dalton replied, he was now wishing he hadn’t come, he hated these kinds of environments

“Well whatever, but ya know, I’m just gonna go hang out. I’ll see you later.” Will slurred then strided away over to a group of people

“Okay, bye, buddy.”

That’s when Dalton saw him. But he wasn’t alone. Oh no. He was standing at the back of the room laughing and talking with Cassidy. It seemed as if everyone around them slowed down, were tuned out and all Dalton could focus on was Cole’s gigantic smile that spread wider with every word he said to her. Everything around Dalton turned blurry, as if there was a single spotlight on the couple standing at the back of the room, away from everyone.

Dalton didn’t recognize one of them though, Cole seemed like a different person altogether. He seemed like a happier person. It hurt Dalton to see him so happy with her, smiling like nothing had happened and the only thing on his mind was her.

But Dalton didn’t resent her for it.

He resented himself. He hated how he didn’t leave an impression on Cole, how he didn’t leave the sort of impact on Cole as Cole had left on him.

Cole then bent down and kissed her. A long, deep, lasting kiss that sent pangs ricocheting through Dalton’s chest. His face fell and his eyes dropped with disbelief. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Cole was kissing her the same way he had kissed Dalton.

But it wasn’t the same to Cole. The way he kissed Cassidy wasn’t filled with anything, it wasn’t charged with the same energy that Dalton’s lips brought. It felt familiar and old, worn out even. It didn’t send chills up his back or love soaring through his chest, the way Dalton did.

Dalton stood there, eyes full of grief and mouth parted slightly in heartbreak. Dalton felt his chest begin to rise more uncontrollably, and his eyes water up.

_No. Don’t cry here. They’ll all see you. Cole will see me. I need to quit staring, what if he glances over here?_

Dalton attempted to blink back his tears and took deep breaths in order to stop him from crashing down right there in the middle of the party. Cole pulled away from Cassidy, whos back was now facing Dalton. Cole lifted his face up and his eyes met Dalton’s. He saw the heartbreak swimming in Dalton’s eyes and the pain painted across his face. Cole’s smile dropped, Dalton’s expression made him feel like the biggest idiot in the world.

As soon as Cole’s eyes had trailed up to meet his, Dalton acted almost instinctively and began to turn towards the staircase beside him. Dalton’s feet couldn’t move fast enough as he started up the stairs, trying to get away from Cole. He didn’t want Cole to see him like this, he hoped that Cole hadn’t noticed the tears that had pooled up in his eyes.

But the damage had already been done. Cole had seen him and he turned back to Cassidy quickly and uttered a rushed I’ll be right back. Cole pushed through the mob of people quickly to get to the staircase.

Thankfully, no one else was upstairs and he started to swiftly ascend the stairs. Dalton got to Will’s room and sat down on his bed, dropping his head into his hands and propping his elbows onto his knees. He attempted to steady his breathing and not cry as a lump formed in his throat. Dalton sat there in silence, alone with his own thoughts of heartbreak, the image of Cole kissing her stuck in his mind.

It didn’t last long though, as Cole soon came bounding through Will’s room, stopping at the door. Dalton looked up at Cole, startled by his sudden appearance. The expression on Dalton’s face said everything. Cole saw pain in his eyes and an emotion that could only be described as broken, shattered, and lost.

“Dalton…” Cole words trailed away as he walked towards the bed, to Dalton who was still fighting back tears Dalton could feel the bed next to him sink and Cole’s arms snake around his waist.

“Dalton…please look at me” Cole said as he ran his hand under Dalton’s chin, angling his head towards Cole so that he could look him in the eyes

“I-I’m so sorry” Cole whispered apologetically, now mere inches away from Dalton’s lips Cole slowly brought Dalton’s face up to his and kissed him, slowly and passionately, attempting to fix everything that was wrong.

Dalton kissed back for a moment, clamping his eyes shut so that tears wouldn’t fall from them. The feeling transmitted in that kiss could only be described as broken love. That kiss was so soft, and so sweet, it was almost as if everything was okay. Dalton loved the feeling of Cole’s kisses, he loved how Cole’s lips were so soft and easy to lose his mind in, how Cole could make his mind forget about everything that was wrong with this.

But Dalton knew that he couldn’t let Cole do this to him. Dalton couldn’t risk falling further in love with Cole, only to be pushed away again. He wanted so bad to continue kissing Cole, to run his hands through his hair and feel as if he was on fire again, to feel electricity surging through his bones.

How could something that felt _so_ good be so bad?

Cole started to slide his hands so that one was rested on the small of Dalton’s back and the other was playing with the hem of his shirt, gliding underneath it, brushing the skin of his abdomen and his touch burned sweetly. Cole brought his hands around and started to fumble with Dalton’s belt, managing to get it undone somehow. He began to fiddle with the waistband of Dalton’s boxers, intertwining the fabric between his fingers and Dalton felt his fingers beginning to slip underneath them. At that moment, Dalton could feel himself losing control, slipping into the passion filled mess that was Cole.

A voice in the back of his mind was telling him that he should just let this happen, he should just keep on kissing Cole and push him down on the bed because this felt way too good to be wrong The urges in Dalton were growing stronger, the urges to slam him against the wall, kiss his neck, and roll up against him so hard that he would feel Cole’s hipbones against his own.

That’s when Dalton knew he had to stop. His urges were to powerful, because the second his lips would touch Cole’s, a kind of lust would be ignited inside him and he knew it would consume him. He wanted to let his urges take control so bad, he wanted, no, he longed to get lost in Cole’s touch. But he knew better. He knew that he would only wake up alone again, and feel that pain return, but stronger this time. He couldn’t risk being broken again.

So, he pulled away from Cole, keeping his eyes shut and shaking his head “No. No. Don’t” Dalton murmured

Cole squeezed Dalton, hugging him close as he said “Dalton, what’s wrong?”

Dalton was stunned at Cole’s obliviousness. _What’s wrong? Cole really has no idea? He really doesn’t understand what he has done? This is worse than I thought_.

“What’s wrong? You really have no idea do you?” Dalton sighed, beginning to become slightly angry with Cole

“What do you mean, Dalton?” Cole stated, not wanting to admit to himself the fact that he had been a huge jerk to Dalton

“What?” Dalton said, confused and breathless“You know exactly what I mean” The tears were gone from Dalton’s eyes and his face began to twist in annoyance, angered that Cole really didn’t realize what he had done

“N-no, I really don’t. Why are you upset?” Cole was hesitant at first. He knew what he had done to Dalton, but he didn’t want to face those feelings, he didn’t want to admit to himself that he had broken Dalton, put him in a position where Dalton was hopeless.

“I-I, just” Dalton struggled to get words out, sighing in frustration There was a moment of silence between them before Dalton finally found the words he needed to say.

“Do you have any idea how it felt to wake up alone?” Dalton choked out, hoping to get the point across to Cole that he had destroyed him

“Well no, I mean I-I don’t know what to say to you Dalton, what do you want from me?” Cole replied, starting to get frustrated over how absurd this argument was Dalton turned to look at Cole in the eyes and raised his voice a bit

“What do I WANT from you? I want to not be trashed by you, as if that meant nothing.”

“That didn’t mean nothing to me” Cole fired back, not missing a beat

“Is that why you were sucking face with Cassidy downstairs? Is that why my bed was empty this morning?” Their conversation was begin to transform into a full out argument, mixed up feelings being transmitted in the wrong way

“No, listen Dalton, that wasn’t what I wanted to do” Cole said Dalton shrugged his shoulders as he fired back

“That’s not what you wanted to do? Then why’d you do it?”

“Listen, I didn’t intend to hurt you like that. I made a HUGE mistake, Dalton please forgive me” Cole pleaded, searching Dalton’s eyes for signs of hope

“You should have thought of that before you left then” Dalton said, raising his eyebrows

“Please, please just forgive me, Dalton” Cole asked

“I can’t” Dalton shot back

“Why?”

“I just can’t” Dalton said in defense

“Please just tell me why”

“N-no I just CAN’T” Dalton said

“Why” Cole asked again, his voice repeating

With Coles’ constant asking and every built up emotion in Dalton, he suddenly burst out at Cole “I CAN’T WAKE UP ALONE AGAIN!”

Cole was taken aback by Dalton’s the sudden escalation of Dalton’s tone and was left speechless. “I can’t wake up alone again” Dalton said, his voice lowering to a near whisper and starting to crack.

There was a silence for a few moments before Cole spoke, and even though it was only a short while, it felt like an eternity.

“Y-you won’t have to” Cole said, trying to comfort Dalton

“Somehow I can’t bring myself to believe you” Dalton snapped back, regaining his angry tone of voice.

Cole couldn’t find the right words to say at first, Dalton was making it so difficult to forgive him. Cole knew he had made a mistake but he was trying to fix it, why couldn’t Dalton see that?

“All I want is for you to forgive me.” Cole said, searching Dalton’s eyes “I _need_ you, Dalton”

Cole’s voice was so convincing, Dalton almost wanted to believe him. Almost.

“You need me? Is that why we’re having this argument? Is that why you LEFT?” Dalton fired back Cole was getting fed up with Dalton not believing him.

He really did believe that he made a mistake, he wanted to fix everything so bad, but Dalton was making it so difficult. “Why are you making this so hard?”

“I’m not making this any harder than then it already was!” They were both screaming at this point, but the music was so loud that everyone downstairs couldn’t hear

“This shouldn’t be hard, that’s the point!” Cole yelled

“I want to forgive you so bad, but the reasonable side of me knows better” Dalton screamed

“Then just forgive me if you want to! Take a chance, I’m not going to let you down again!” Cole tried his best to convince him, but Dalton wasn’t having it

“I CAN’T” Dalton yelled

“YES YOU CAN”

“NO, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND”

“I UNDERSTAND PERFECTLY, JUST PLEASE FORGIVE ME” Cole pleaded, even though they were both yelling

“I CAN’T”

Cole didn’t know what brought him to say this, maybe it was Dalton’s stubbornness, or the tone in Dalton’s voice when he said he couldn’t forgive him, as if Cole wasn’t good enough to make him change his mind. But the 11 words that escaped Cole’s mouth, those 11 small, powerful words, changed the whole atmosphere. “WELL, IF YOU’RE GOING TO BE THIS WAY I’M GLAD I LEFT”

As soon as Cole yelled those words, he wished he could take them back. Cole saw the anger and frustration in Dalton’s eyes dissolve and was replaced with hurt. Cole’s hand flew up to his mouth and his eyes widened. He shouldn’t have said that.

Dalton’s mouth hung slightly open and he could feel a lump start to gather in his throat. He closed his mouth and swallowed, while he just stared at Cole in disbelief. The room fell silent. All that could be heard was the booming music from downstairs and the vibrating floors caused by the large stereos. Dalton stood up from the bed and began to walk out when he felt Cole’s hand around his wrist, holding him back.

“Please Dalton, I-I didn’t mean that like it sounded. Don’t leave” Cole pleaded, his voice lowering to a whisper Dalton wrestled his arm out of Cole’s grip. Tears were already pooling up in his eyes, and he didn’t want Cole to see him like this.

“No. Just like _you_ , I’m gonna leave. Maybe you’ll finally realize what it feels like to be abandoned.” Dalton said coldly.

He fought back his tears the best he could and walked out of the bedroom with Cole not saying another word. It stung to hear that from Dalton. But only because it was true, Cole had left him and he regretted it more than anything. The damage was already done, and he had managed to shatter Dalton’s heart with a mere sentence.

He didn’t go after him though. Now looking back on it, he really should have. Cole didn’t know why he didn’t chase after him, why he didn’t follow him out of that bedroom, why he didn’t run screaming his name until his throat was sore.

That’s what he should have done. But the point was, he didn’t.

~~~

Dalton got in his car and drove home as quick as he could, tears already streaming down his face.

Dalton finally got home and raced up to his bedroom, collapsing on the bed and curling up into a ball. And Dalton cried.

He cried harder than he ever has in his entire life, staining his bed sheets with tears and making his breath worked up and shaky. He cried so hard that he felt as if his whole body was shuddering, collapsing in on itself, a hole being torn through his heart. Those words.

What Cole said was all it took to send Dalton spiraling down again, into a pit of heartbreak. Dalton was already so damaged before Cole, and he thought that Cole’s love would patch him up again, make him feel as if he wasn’t so broken.

How could he have been so foolish? He had only fallen for the same desire that betrayed him before. He had fallen control to his lips and his touches that made Dalton think he was loved. But it always ends the same. In crippling heartbreak.

Dalton returned to his bathroom, his eyeliner already smudged. He reached into his medicine cabinet and pulled out the all too familiar small black box with silver inside.

It was mostly all of the hate in his head, every voice he’s ever heard saying he wasn’t good enough, every insult thrown his way. Every “gay, faggot, only girls wear eyeliner and nail polish, you’re such an ugly fag” ran through his head again.

At first it wasn’t that bad. The cuts weren’t that deep and not that often. But then it got worse. Like every addiction does.

The razor became a constant to Dalton, the only thing he could ever be sure of, the only thing he could control.

After he met Cole, the cutting subsided for a long time. Cole made his demons go away, he made the insults that were thrown at Dalton seem like lies, but most of all, Cole made Dalton feel loved. But now it was like Cole had turned into the bully, Cole’s voice was the one putting Dalton down in his head. Even though Cole didn’t actually believe that-not by a longshot, a few small words could change everything.

Now that Cole had stopped loving him, now that he had lost Cole, he couldn’t take it anymore. That was the one thing that pushed him over the edge. Cole’s words were the straw that broke the camel’s back.

He pulled down his black skinny jeans to his knees, and he was faced with the scars that littered his thighs. Arms were too risky to cut on, he constantly had to wear short sleeves so his thighs were the only other not noticeable option.

They disgusted him. He absolutely hated how his body looked, and the cuts didn’t make him love himself any more.

Dalton stared at the razor in his palm and saw his blurred reflection in the sliver surface. Disgusting. No wonder Cole left. Dalton brought the razor to his thigh and held it above it for a second, his hand shaking as if something was stopping him. He relapsed. No, no, he wouldn’t. Not this time, no. Dalton flung the razor across the bathroom, it clinking against the wall and falling behind the trashcan.

He backed up against the door and slid down, leaning his head against it and beginning to weep again. His chest shuddered and his breath became rigid as he let tears wet his shirt. His fingers ran through his hair and tugged at it, tears streaming down his face and hitting his bare legs.

He felt trapped, like a car was sitting on his chest and he couldn’t breathe. He hated everything right now. He hated it so much that he just wanted it to all end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :) please tell me what you think about it here


	3. ???

I sadly won't be continuing this story, I've since grown distant from the fandom, which is just kind of, a normal thing that happens. There aren't any particular reasons for it. I debated continuing anyways, however, I feel that doing so wouldn't be doing the story any justice if my heart wasn't in it anymore.

My sincerest apologies (if anyone's listening), Lexie


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